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boltkunt 3:42 Thu Sep 15
Depression - Help and support Ideas....

Sorry gank, has fuck all to do with West Ham...

Anyway, has anyone here ever struggled with it? I've suffered pretty badly over the last year or so, and still coming to terms with it and has had a major impact on my life and was trying to think of some ideas to help promote recognition and support to those that have suffered and are suffering some of which are embarrassed or scared to get help like I was at the start.

Long story short mine started pretty much to the day last year, it got to the point I isolated myself from my family friends and didn't want any contact with the outside world and were days where I literally didn't get out of bed, it came as a massive shock to me as I'd just been married, working in a decent job earning decent money and on the face of it not had any reason to be depressed. I was always ignorant to people with it, I worked with someone who had it and always thought it was used as an excuse or people because were lazy - but having gone through it it's literally hell.

There's still a massive taboo when it comes to depression, my thoughts are that because it's a mental illness and everyone has different forms or reasons to be depressed as well as because people can't physically see it that there's a lot of ignorance towards the subject.

Anyway, the reason for this thread was to get some ideas of how I could help promote an understanding of depression in the form of some sort of event and wanted the bright sparks of WHO to hopefully give me some ideas.

No doubt there'll be a few cuntish comments in my direction so have a rather large tin hat at the ready.

dicksie3 6:48 Thu Nov 24
Re: Depression - Help and support Ideas....

I'd rather drink myself to death than go to AA.

Bollocks to that.

Hasans Fish Bar RIP 6:10 Thu Nov 24
Re: Depression - Help and support Ideas....

Gav

I find AA just as tiresome because of the higher power shit they spout, as much as the cliche ridden shit they trot out. One day at a time, keep coming back, fuck it button, sick and tired of feeling sick and tired, powerlessness etc. The holding hands thing and the prayer at the end make me cringe. And I completely don't get the 12 steps programme either. I get that it works for some however.

To keep me in check I occasionally go to something called Smart recovery. It takes a more holistic approach and is usually just a bunch of people chatting about their experiences and advice rather than having a formal 'chair' then people licking their arse and completely recounting what we've just heard from the 'chair' then talking about themselves for 10 minutes massively at odds with what was being talked about.

SR doesn't castigate people who fall off the wagon and also serves as somewhere where people who still drink can go as a means of trying to tail their drinking down.

jools268 5:08 Thu Nov 24
Re: Depression - Help and support Ideas....

I know its a simplification, but it has helped me with some aspects of my life that have caused me some very troubling times in the past.
Obviously not everything can be remedied by that approach, but even if it helps one aspect, its one less weight dragging you down.

Frankly, as I didnt get on with Anti depressants, I was only left with practical remedies, talking therapies, trying to change my mindset in certain situations, recognising when my mood was darkening (not always obvious).

In terms of the stigma attached to Depression and mental illness in general, things seem to be improving little by little, I certainly dont feel ashamed to admit it and no one else should either.

My mates know and pull me up when I start retreating from them (Which is one of the main indicators for me, I avoid talking to them, not answering phone, backing out of pre arranged nights out with silly excuses that kind of thing) and have been great once they realised it was serious rather than me just being a stroppy cunt.

As far as Im concerned, I will try most things and if they work a little then great, but I accept that everyone if different and what works for me may not for others.



Now, I must get on, the helicopter is landing on my £500m Yacht and my supermodel girlfriend is still nibbling on my bellend.

Private Dancer 4:26 Thu Nov 24
Re: Depression - Help and support Ideas....

'As soon as you accept that there are some things that you can't influence, you lose the burden of their weight on your life. It's freeing and has made a huge difference in how I view myself'''


You make doing that sound all very simple, like a switch, but it's not, at all.

jools268 1:53 Thu Nov 24
Re: Depression - Help and support Ideas....

I've suffered with it sporadically for years. I have learned to recognize the signs, lethargy, irritability, desire for isolation etc and tackle them head on.

I tried anti depressants a few years ago and didn't like them. That's bot to say that they aren't useful for a lot of people, I just didn't get on with them.

I'm normally a chirpy chap, and can cope a lot better now.

One thing I do , is rationalise things, I used to get hit hard about things that were out of my control. As soon as you accept that there are some things that you can't influence, you lose the burden of their weight on your life. It's freeing and has made a huge difference in how I view myself .

Razzle 1:05 Thu Nov 24
Re: Depression - Help and support Ideas....

Counselling
Actively partaking in sport/exercise - release of Endorphins
lay of the booze.
Eat healthy
Take pride in your appearance.

Those should help.

Baggins 8:41 Thu Nov 24
Re: Depression - Help and support Ideas....

Good to hear things are looking up Bolty, son!

Well done on the new job.

B6NY B 8:32 Thu Nov 24
Re: Depression - Help and support Ideas....

Sorry to hear that, PD son.

Far East Hammer 7:34 Thu Nov 24
Re: Depression - Help and support Ideas....

Dunno if it's depression strictly speaking or whether I've simply been going through my mid-life crisis, but...

I know a lot of motivational shit (especially on FB but also on LinkedIn) talks about mixing with positive rather than negative people. As this somehow motivates you and cheers you up.

Personally I've found that a complete loads of codswallop. Spending time with such types tends to make my skin crawl or blood boil at how wonderful they think everything is. They also to me come across as quite airheaded.

Not sure if this is just because I can at times be quite intense (a few of the WHOers who've had the misfortune of meeting me in the real world might vouch for this).

But I tend to find more solace with other negative or cynical types. Acknowledging that life can be shitty. Then this helps one realise, as Private Dancer points out, that things can be worse (and PD and I have had a few shared moaning sessions over the years)

But maybe what I'm trying to say (as I might appear somewhat odd from my comments) is that when you withdraw and then retreat into cyberspace for "lifestyle advice" (bad idea at the best of time), the problem is that there is no one size fits all. And this is an oft overlooked problem (just because something worked for a mate of a mate does not necessarily mean it'd work for you)

I often find it's a relatively minor thing (file under the things that annoy you that really shouldn't thread?) that often sets of my bouts of feeling-pretty-shitty, but that having sparked it, it's other issues (which may or might not be significant in the scheme of things) which leave me wallowing there.

And family can cut both ways. Trying to put a brave face on when dealing with elderly relatives because we either don't want to stress or disappoint them or they have their own, often physical, health issues to deal with (which is perhaps why we sometimes distance ourselves).

Then partner and/or kids doing something relatively mildly irritating - or at other times for no really logical reason saying or doing something that suddenly perks me up. And the unpredictability of such mood swings can of itself be irritating.

Come to think of it, I believe an old mate from Uni days wrote a couple of articles on middle aged male depression and suicide in Men's Health a couple of years back (though he's since moved on from there). Then again, he's a Liverpool fan so can presumably write chapter and verse of the meaning of loss and depression and mourning :-)

Worst Case Ontario 4:40 Thu Nov 24
Re: Depression - Help and support Ideas....

Steer those susceptible to it away from West Ham, for a start.

Seriously though pal, good on you. I don't have any ideas at the moment but I'd help out if you needed or wanted.

Private Dancer 3:48 Thu Nov 24
Re: Depression - Help and support Ideas....

Bolt - That was why I asked you before how you coped with your job. Glad to hear you are doing well mate. Life is a cunt.

I had a MATE, early 40's, who died of a heart attack last week, so things can always be worse!

Northern Sold 1:26 Thu Nov 24
Re: Depression - Help and support Ideas....

You got a job Gav-BOAT??

* fills up *

My little boy all grown up.....

* bites hankie *



Oh and well done Bolty etc etc etc.....

Gavros 1:21 Thu Nov 24
Re: Depression - Help and support Ideas....

Good to hear Bolt son even though you and the LOUGHTON brigade still think I'm a cunt.

Positie news for me recently is that the bank I work for have now had to terminate my inept and fucking horrible bosses contract, so come the end of December I am the de facto head of the the economics team (though naturally they can't pay me the salary requisite of such as they're so fucked).

Plenty to work on with working out her useless legacy and woring toward a rationale for the economics that underpin IFRS9 economic forecasts that drive the banks expected losses and probability of default models.

Once done with that I'm sorted as every bank in Europe is crying out for people who can build the architecture to deal with this new accouting standard.

StI'll, getting pissed way too much and have to reign it in. I have been to AA a couple of times but can't stand the quasi religiosity of it. Just stopping and getting back to a 'boring' life is what I need to face the challenges that await.

Tomshardware 9:33 Wed Nov 23
Re: Depression - Help and support Ideas....

WHen done Bolty, takes courage to keep going when you feel in a bad place.

dicksie3 9:09 Wed Nov 23
Re: Depression - Help and support Ideas....

My old job was depressing me at times. I couldn't stand my micro-management-style manager. I'm a bit of a dosser, I've got to admit, but don't most of us try and get away with as little as possible?! There's no real hiding in Applications Support anyway.

To cut a long story short; I handed-in my notice last year and I managed to get a better job (same line of work) at my place on a higher pay grade... And I do even less work now and my manager is as easygoing as you like who also tries to avoid doing any work.

It's fantastic.

ornchurch ammer 8:58 Wed Nov 23
Re: Depression - Help and support Ideas....

Keep going Bolty. One day at a time and you'll find them start to go quicker again.
Glad to hear that your ex boss was so supportive!!

bruuuno 7:31 Wed Nov 23
Re: Depression - Help and support Ideas....

Kearley 7:02 Wed Nov 23
Re: Depression - Help and support Ideas....



I was the same but then one time after taking mdma I dropped into the worst depression for ten days. All I could do was lie in bed sobbing, if I'd felt like that long term I would have done my self in no doubt. Luckily it went away but I now completely understand what people go through with depression, truly awful.

I stick to LSD now

Son of Anarchy 7:12 Wed Nov 23
Re: Depression - Help and support Ideas....

Bolty...

I see you on Twitter so I know you're alive but glad you've popped back up on here & the suns coming up for you.

Kearley 7:02 Wed Nov 23
Re: Depression - Help and support Ideas....

Bolty

I am fortunate enough to say I have never suffered from this so I struggle to truly understand what it means when people say they literally can't get out of bed.

However, it seems to effect a lot of people who I would otherwise have thought were 'normal blokes' - yourself included. So there is obviously something there and long may I remain oblivious to it!

Glad to hear things are looking up for you.

riosleftsock 6:06 Wed Nov 23
Re: Depression - Help and support Ideas....

Millions have recovered from depression and far worse.

Nothing to get BIG-HEADED about.

dolph 6:02 Wed Nov 23
Re: Depression - Help and support Ideas....

Sorry to hear that Bolty old boy

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